As I sit here on the eve of my 37th birthday, I wonder at the journey that has led me to this current path. I can look back without fear on the decisions I have made and feel proud of the choices that have brought me here.
It's not been an easy road, those who have been with me since the beginning know only too well that I have existed too long and for far too often in the darkness. Sheltering my spirit, healing my mind and coaxing a bruised soul. But although the time in the blackness of solitude has been crushing at it's lowest point, there has been moments of true reflection...a chance for me to see myself honestly. Not as others would look upon me, but as I would portray myself...a true reflection of my own mind, a kind of defining moment of realisation.
So although I have arrived at this stage in my life fairly unscathed and have always feared the elusiveness of the dark, I now find it's presence comforting. Knowing that although to be within it's clutches is to be emotionally torn, I also know that from that comes a certain amount of healing and a rejuvenation of a spirit.
I hope that from this moment on in my life, my visits to the darker side of my persona become less frequent. As now I have within my grasp what I have always craved...a sense of belonging, a true purpose in life and the knowledge that I am loved for no other reason except that I am just Me!
I give thanks to the blessings in my life. The three children I have been gifted and the spirit that grows within me stronger each day. The love of a good, kind and wonderful man. The love of family and friends. And the adventure of a new home and a new life that is about to enter all our tomorrow's.
For now, I am at peace.
And that, is the best gift I could ever wish for.
